Boosting Conflict Resolution Skills & Becoming Multi-Perspective with Self-Hypnosis.
A few days ago I had a delightful conversation with Diane Musho Hamilton, a conflict resolution expert, professional mediator and Zen priestess.
I interviewed Diane for my Better You Podcast and we also collaborated on the design of Conflict Resolution Skills hypnosis audio session, released for free on Youtube and SoundCloud.
The suggestions (affirmations) in the hypnosis audio are based on the teachings from Diane's book "Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution.”
In a nutshell, it is is about learning to think, see and feel through multiple perspectives. Of course, to get to the point of becoming multi-perspective you first need to learn to do it very well through the first person perspective - your perspective.
Think about….
Are you able to speak up for yourself? Express your views clearly and confidently? Fearlessly and succinctly? Express your views without attacking, blaming or being overly defensive? Can you do it with posture, kindness and unshakable confidence? Not hiding or fearing someone else’s response? If you are not there, work on it. Learn the art of self-expression. Do whatever is necessary to build confidence to express yourself freely. And of course, I can help you with that with hypnosis:)
Once you have mastered first person self-expression, then you can learn the special ability of migrating through multiple perspectives. Seeing life or any situation and especially conflict when it arises, from your perspective as well as other people’s perspectives - this can enrich your life tremendously. This skill takes you on a whole new level of personal development, and it may take a while to develop. One way to develop such skill is through regular meditation practice and mindfulness as well as self-hypnosis.
I remember when I did my second ayahuasca experience, I suddenly saw what looked like an endless multitude of mirrors attached together, moving endlessly. They just kept seeing into one another and out from another. It was overwhelming at first and it is almost impossible to relay as I saw it.
This is how life is, you, me and everyone of us are like camera lenses looking into this world, which we see, touch, feel, smell and hear - all through our human body - the biological enterprise. We perceive the reality daily and record it in our brain and our subconscious as experiences, lessons and memories. We interweave them through our neurological connections, make patterns of behavior or habits. And we all have a pretty much unique view on things, with a constant lingering information in the background about who we are, what we want and desire, what we dream about, with our unique struggles and fears.
Sometimes, these views, these models of the words and how we see things through the camera of our biological human enterprise - yes, they clash and suddenly we find ourselves in conflict with someone or something.
The good news is conflict is a positive thing. Conflict is energy and an opportunity to grow. Conflict will happen in your life, no matter what you do. You can avoid it, try to accommodate people too much or strike too hard and too harsh in the aggressive manner to scare everyone away.
There is a special zen and integral way to deal with conflict and continuously use it as an opportunity to better yourself and expand your model of the world. And maybe even make the word a better place as a result!
Watch this Better You Podcast, where I interview Diane Musho Hamilton about conflict resolution styles, how to manage emotional triggers and how to become multi-perspective.
The below affirmations are complied in accordance with Diane Musho Hamilton’s teachings. Read them out loud for three weeks, every day. And then let us know how they affect your conflict resolution skills.
I am clear on the intent of my communication as I approach conflict in my life
I understand what I want from communication in conflict, as I identify my own needs, wants, and interests
I am gentle and soft in my communication and follow a dynamic and rhythmic pace as I speak and express myself freely and with confidence
I realize I am always safe and secure during all difficult conversations and arguments
I am fully aligned and fully present whether pleasant or unpleasant feelings surface, associated with conflict of any kind
I use conflict as an opportunity to deepen my relationship to my own body and its sensations
I take the time and choose to hear and receive the wisdom of any uncomfortable feelings, associated with conflict of any kind
I relinquish all blame or need to attack, defend and self-protect. I stay present calm and relaxed.
I am able to put my own perspective on hold to help me expand my view and gain more wisdom from the perspectives of other people
I express my views with freedom, honesty and depth and I am able to listen to others just as equally
As I actively listen, I am able to stay calm, focused and pay attention, while deepening my awareness
I maintain an equanimity of the mind and stay focused, non-reactive, non-defensive and non-blaming.
I am open to hear, listen and receive.
I can expand or contract my awareness like a camera with multiple lenses allowing my attention to be wide or diffuse, close up or from up above.
I see from multiple perspectives and it gives me freedom from pain, confusion and emotional turmoil associated with disconnect and conflict.
As I become a multi perspective person, I become wiser and I see solutions to problems from a more resourceful and kind place from within.
I am able to resolve conflicts in my life with confidence, emotional resilience and kindness
I am excited by the energy of conflict and see it as a learning experience always
I see conflict as a creative opportunity, and enjoy finding new, innovative solutions.
I always ascribe good will to other people's motives, and use conflict to get to know others better.
I experience freedom, courage, and compassion when conflicts in my life arise.
I am able to penetrate with direct insight and guidance if necessary and required and I do so with piercing focus and undeniable confidence